


Not Just A Man

by StevetheIcecube



Series: The Beauty of Tony Stark and Tony Feels [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Arc Reactor Angst, Dark!Tony, F/M, Gen, Mood Swings, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:51:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StevetheIcecube/pseuds/StevetheIcecube
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles. All written about that beauty that is Tony Stark.</p><p>Recent chapter: Tony builds a nest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have had note problems but I think I've sorted them.

"I'll sleep downstairs." Tony felt his heart sink. "You can tinker with that."

Pepper left to sleep downstairs.

Tony tinkered. It was the only thing he could thing of doing. He recalibrated the insides so he couldn't call it so easily.

He plotted an apology to Pepper. But the next time he saw he, all he did was argue. And then save her life.

But he knew it was falling apart. Especially after he fixed Pepper. It just wasn't working. She was grateful, happy and romantic. But it felt fake. It felt so, so fake. Nothing was real.

And then it was gone. She moved out for a day when Tony had to do some repairs. She just never came back.

Well, she was still there. At the corners of his vision, swimming in his nightmares, laughing, being affectionate.

And he'd wake up alone and the cold of the cave, the palladium, the wormhole, the water, everything.

He was always cold now. It was psychosomatic. Not real, he'd been told so by countless therapists.

But that didn't make it any less cold.


	2. Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has told everyone his name. So why does no one ever call him by it?

"Sir, sir!"

Can't anyone hear me?

"Stark! Stark!"

Why won't you call me Tony?

"Hey, Anthony!"

Just call me Tony.

"Merchant of death!"

Does my voice go unheard?

"Iron Man!"

I'm not a hero.

"Mr Stark?"

No one even gets my name right.

"The mechanic."

How can I make a difference if no one remembers my name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having issues with the note system. Ignore all notes from now on and other notes before this :)


	3. Lows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony isn't always bright and happy.

Keep watch for dark eyes under tussled hair.

It's a sign he's on a low.

He'll walk around like he sees no one. Like no one is there.

He won't react if you speak.

You're flat on your back if you touch him, Captain America or not.

It's best to just leave him alone.

A few days before a funk he'll be happy, mischievous and he'll act like a child. The funk itself can last a week or even more. Afterwards, he's tired, craving attention and touch.

Natasha calls the periods before and after 'adorable'. She isn't wrong, it is adorable, and hearing her say the word is almost as good.

No one found it too odd after the first few times. They could understand that he had to act out sometimes. He'd been through a lot.

They all had. They just showed it in different ways.


	4. Pretending (and forever bored)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha knows it's only a matter of time before Tony stops pretending to be a good man.

Natasha wondered how long it would be until he gave up.

I was clear only to her, it seemed, that Tony didn't want to be a hero anymore.

She presumed that he'd gotten bored, as billionaires do, with his current lifestyle. He didn't want to do good, he wanted to hurt people.

Natasha knew the feeling, but she thought that it wouldn't have plagued someone like Tony, who knew what it was like when you got on the bad side of bad people. She thought that was why he was so good in the first place.

But it seemed that neither that nor SHIELD, who tried their upmost to keep people like her, Clint, Bruce and Tony on the good side, could keep Tony from being who he wanted to be.

And it wasn't like she was imagining it, either. Tony was reluctant to do much other than fight when they were in battle, and he never helped anyone unless ordered to.

It was a wonder no one but her had noticed his treachery just yet, but they probably blamed it on the arrogant person that Tony is.

Natasha wasn't looking forward to the time when Tony either chose to or was forced to reveal that he didn't want to be a good person anymore. He could take all of his money, get a fake identity, destroy all his suits but one and leave to do bad things. There wasn't much they could do to stop him, because to fight him they needed heavy hitters but their heavy hitters weren't subtle enough to get to him without him getting away.

She just hoped that Tony preferred being a double agent and hiding his reluctance to being open with villainy.


	5. He Hated It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony hates the arc reactor.

He hated the arc reactor.

It was invasive, and it hurt.

It hurt every day.

It was sometimes just a dull ache.

But when he got knocked around, it was so much worse.

It stabbed at his chest, his lungs, everything.

It hurt.

It really, really hurt.

And it was just a liability.

Another weakness.

Yet another one of his stupid weaknesses that made him the vulnerable human.

And everyone knew it was a weakness.

How could they not?

Fucking blue glowing disk.

In the centre of his chest.

Some reporter said that he unconsciously moves to cover it the second someone moves close to him.

He snapped at her that if she had a hole in her chest then she'd do the same.

He hated being weak.

He hated it.

He hated the arc reactor.

He hated everything it stood for.

He hated that it glowed and kept him awake at night.

He hated the dreams he had that resulted in him trying to claw it out.

He hated the way it made him the weakest.


	6. Off-Switches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony feels alone.

It's times like this that Tony feels so fucking alone.

It's surreal.

When he goes out into the open, does things with the Avengers, or Pepper, anyone.

And they argue. They fight, they leave.

And at times like those, Tony doesn't bring an earpiece so he can hear JARVIS. He was counting on the others to be there to talk.

And he realises how sad his life really is.

Because his only friends are machines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say they'd be short XD


End file.
